Sarah Silverman: I’m Fucking Matt Damon
Punch Lines
George Carlin on Stuff
Another snippet from that “Women of Comedy” Emmy roundtable. The main topic of conversation is older women in Hollywood and what kind of roles they get offered.
God I love the idea that women are no longer appealing post-35. That is just so neat and not at all bullshit.
“I was almost asked to play Jonah Hill’s mother”
(that is not a punchline, but here are six funny women talking about Hollywood)
“ For those of you who don’t know what a platitude is, it’s a platypus with an attitude.
Michael Ian Black (via happycap)
Mitch Hedburg on Dr. Katz
Fruit on the bottom… hope on top!
I am completely in favor of this!
“ Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
“ If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Stephen Wright
“ Folks, I’m not gonna lie to you, apparently everyone who ever meant anything to anyone passed away this weekend.
Jon Stewart (via frankthinksyoureugly) (via heavenisforeasygirls)
“ I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because when I tried to walk out, I had to slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up real quick?
Mitch Hedberg
“ When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, “Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!
Mitch Hedberg
